Drunk Eats

If you really think about it, there’s probably nothing more fun to do while intoxicated than eat. Flat-out gorging oneself with no regard for human life after a night of boozing is one of life’s true joys; too often we talk about how much we regret it the next day, but how about celebrating it for

A November Shower

Today was the day every New Yorker has to deal with eventually: the first day in November when showering in the morning really, really sucks, and you realize it’ll probably suck for the next four months straight. If you live in a nice new doorman building with immaculate plumbing, congrats – you have one less

“You guys! I Have Low Self Esteem!”

“You guys!” Whenever I see a social media post start with that, I mentally prepare to be annoyed. Starting off with “you guys!” is the online version of a fart; it’s the warning sign for the rest of us to get up and leave if we don’t want to experience something unpleasant. In real life, what comes

The Age-Old Debate

Kim Kardashian and famed photographer Jean-Paul Goude attempted to “Break the Internet” today by recreating his well-known “Champagne Incident” shot with a more-well-known ass. The internet is still working, but I wouldn’t call it a failure; the last time I got this many links to an ass sent to me, it was because I got a virus on my family

Catch A Beat Running Like Randy Moss

Andrew Sharp from Grantland – one of my favorite writers on the internet – wrote a fantastic article on Randy Moss today, in anticipation of the 30 for 30 about him (Rand University) airing tonight on ESPN. I felt like I had to write a few words about Randy, considering he is – bar none

French Fries, Catsup, and the Moral Decay of America

There was an exhibit this weekend called “Fries of New York” (yes, really) that explored some of the different types of french fries seen around the city. It was put on by Sir Kensington’s Ketchup, which is one of those ketchups you buy when you make a lot of money but you also have a

Euphemisms

Euphemisms are one of my favorite things, along with guacamole, Saturdays, and a nice, stiff nipple. They help describe things in a clever, universal way. Some are classic – one of my favorites is “I have to go see a man about a horse,” used to conceal the actual reason for one’s departure (like taking

The Fear: Your Comprehensive Guide to the Sunday Scaries

In different parts of the world, they refer to it as different things. Out on the West Coast, it’s Mr. Scary (as in, “Oh, boy. Mister Scary is coming to visit today”). You’ll hear “The Sunday Scaries” a lot – that’s perhaps the most common name and simultaneously the most boring, although it has the