Posts Tagged police

Normal food is never enough for fat people

Police: Woman Takes Bite Out Of Man After ‘Fat’ Comment

LINCOLN, Neb. –Police said a 24-year-old Lincoln man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn’t like being called “fat.”

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It takes a tough guy to beat up a quadruple amputee

Jacoby Smith beat up quadruple amputee girlfriend in self-defense

apparently this fight all started because the armless, legless broad was cheating on him…how the fuck did she manage to find TWO dudes willing to fuck her? wtf

Bell was in no position to defend herself, being that both hands and both legs were amputated due to a childhood illness. But Smith says don’t let that fool you–Bell is like a handless, legless Ultimate Fighter.

“She’ll swing, push me down and choke me with her nubs,” Smith told the Pioneer Press.

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Dogs smell bacon!

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I don’t think I’ve ever been this drunk

Pennsylvania man fails to resuscitate “road-killed” opossum

(CNN) — A Pennsylvania man attempted to resuscitate “a road-killed opossum,” state police say.

But this was one possum who wasn’t playing possum — the ugly creature remained dead.

Troopers responding to the scene in Oliver Township on Thursday determined that Donald J. Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, was drunk, according to the police report.

Several witnesses observed Wolfe’s failed resurrection of the flattened marsupial, police said. It was not immediately clear how he endeavored to restore the possum’s life.

The arresting officer in the incident was unavailable for comment Friday. Attempts to reach Wolfe were also unsuccessful.

Wolfe will be charged with one charge of public drunkenness, police said.

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Army soldier stabs sister in the eye, rapes her as she dies

what the fuck!?!?!?:

Nobody parties like Steven Kelsey Jr., and for this we should all be most grateful.

Kelsey, 20, was found guilty of the rape and murder of his 17-year-old sister after a New Year’s celebration in the first hours of 2009.

An army soldier on leave from boot camp in South Carolina, Kelsey was staying with his mother and stepfather at their mobile home in Highland Township, Michigan. As the festivities wound down, Kelsey stabbed his sister Jesika in the neck with a kitchen knife. When he saw that she was in pain, he tried finishing the job by thrusting a knife directly into her right eye.

As Jesika bled to death in the home, Kelsey attempted to have sex with her. He was arrested later that day when a backpack containing bloody knives and his Army ID was found in a nearby dumpster.

Kelsey will spend the rest of his life in prison, with no possibility of parole.

Highland man guilty of first-degree murder, felony murder

Jesika Kelsey Killed By Brother


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who the FUCK waterboards a 4 year old?

this is absolutely fucking disgusting:
US Soldier Waterboards 4-Year-Old Daughter For Not Knowing Alphabet

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some headlines just write themselves

Police get a grip on serial masturbator

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Robber Breaks In, Steals Man’s Dignity

there is nothing normal about this story whatsoever

source…and if you don’t believe it was real, click here for proof of its existence

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so a cop ejaculates on a motorist…

and apparently is not found guilty…story is a little old but damn its good…apparently, because the motorist was a stripper, she “got what she wanted”:

No one disputes that an on-duty Irvine police officer got an erection and ejaculated on a motorist during an early-morning traffic stop in Laguna Beach. The female driver reported it, DNA testing confirmed it and officer David Alex Park finally admitted it.

When the case went to trial, however, defense attorney Al Stokke argued that Park wasn’t responsible for making sticky all over the woman’s sweater. He insisted that she made the married patrolman make the mess—after all, she was on her way home from work as a dancer at Captain Cream Cabaret.

“She got what she wanted,” said Stokke. “She’s an overtly sexual person.”

click here for the full article: An Irvine cop ejaculates on a motorist but escapes criminal liability

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this kid is going to grow up to be a model citizen

Drunk 4-Year-Old Steals Christmas Presents


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